Murfreesboro, TN – In what can only be described as the “most shocking history lesson of all time,” sixth graders at Rutherford Middle School were left slack-jawed when they discovered their 27-year-old teacher, Ms. Jessica Larson, had actually lived in the 1900s. The revelation came during an innocent class discussion about technological advancements, but quickly spiraled into a full-blown interrogation.
“When Ms. Larson said she was born in 1996, I almost fainted,” exclaimed Mason, age 11, clearly reeling from the news. “That’s, like, back in the days before people even knew what TikTok was! How did anyone have fun? Were there memes?”
Ms. Larson, struggling to hold back laughter, calmly explained that TikTok, YouTube, and iPhones didn’t exist back then, to which the class erupted in gasps of disbelief.
“Wait, wait, wait,” interrupted Jenna, throwing up her hands in confusion. “So, if you wanted to see a funny video, you had to, like… ask your friends to act it out in real life? Did people even know what viral was back then?”
The disbelief only grew when Ms. Larson tried to explain pre-streaming entertainment. “We didn’t have Netflix. You either rented a movie from Blockbuster, or if it was on TV, you had to watch it when it aired.”
The concept of having to wait to watch something had students stunned. “So, you’re telling me… there was no Disney+ to just watch whenever?” asked Brayden, visibly horrified. “How did you even survive?”
As Ms. Larson attempted to delve deeper into her “ancient” life, things took a turn for the ridiculous. One student asked if people in the 1900s “used pigeons to send messages,” while another inquired whether the internet was “made of paper.”
“We didn’t even have iPhones until I was in high school,” said Ms. Larson, which prompted a particularly horrified gasp from Olivia in the front row. “No iPhones? So, like, what did you do all day? Talk to people…in person?”
The conversation only got more absurd as students tried to grapple with the concept of landlines. “So, like, the phone was attached to the wall? How did you carry it around? Did you have to, like, sit in one place the whole time?” asked Ethan, while attempting to mimic holding an imaginary brick-sized phone to his ear.
Ms. Larson tried to explain the concept of VHS tapes, leading Mia to ask if you “had to rewind them by hand like some kind of caveman.”
By the end of the class, Ms. Larson had barely scratched the surface of her “prehistoric” upbringing, leaving students awestruck at how their teacher had managed to survive in such an apparently primitive world. “Honestly, it’s like she’s from another dimension,” whispered Brayden to his classmates as the bell rang. “Like, what was it even like before Wi-Fi? Does she even know what a meme is?”
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